Try something new...

Try something new today.  Try a new recipe. Try a new recreational activity. Try a new flavor of your favorite brand of ice-cream. Try reading a new book. Do something a little different today than in days previous. Just try...

Trust yourself...

Trust yourself today and each day going forward. Trust your instincts. Trust your ability to make sound decisions. Trust your healthy relationships. Trust your ability to forgive those who broke your trust. Trust the mistakes, failures and setbacks that you have experienced. You would not be here without some adversity. Trust your courage. Trust your strength. Trust your power.  Trust your own greatness!

The problem with "Perfectionism"

To begin from the outset, being "perfect" does not exist. Perfectionism is defined as, "a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable." Many individuals pay a painful price holding onto an idea of what it means to be perfect. How many times have we encountered people  who wanted to be "perfect" students? They consider straight A's to be an accurate barometer of their value in the world. For them, anything less than an A is a problem. They confuse excellence with perfection. Unfortunately, there is no gray area. It's either an A in the exam, course and/or semester or it is all for nothing. 

How many individuals have an idea of being the perfect parents? These individuals do not want to make any mistakes as it pertains to raising their children. Every decision has to be perfect. They do not want to hurt, disappoint or allow their children to feel pain. The reality is, parents are humans. Parents, like their children, have feelings and emotions. Sometimes parents will say or do something that will hurt their children's feelings. It's inevitable. It will happen. 

How about the "perfect"employers and/or employees? They make every attempt to not make mistakes. Every decision is imbued with anxiety. They question the moves they make because they don't want to be seen as incapable or incompetent.

Why do doctors have to carry malpractice insurance? Even with their years of experience and training, they are involved in a practice. They practice medicine. Lawyers practice law. They too, face the possibility of making mistakes in their work. Many are excellent, not perfect.

The problem with "perfectionism" lies in the fact, that being perfect in any aspect of our lives, is not possible. Maybe what some individuals pursue is excellence. To be excellent means that there is a willingness to accept the successes AND failures in the process of becoming and/or doing whatever we focus on, at a highly skilled level. 

Whatever it is that you pursue, do so confidently, knowing that part of the process involves possibility of making mistakes. As such, it is very possible to be an excellent student, parent, doctor or lawyer. How less burdensome would it feel to pursue excellence over perfection? Only if there were a perfect answer. But we know that there aren't any.

 

5 Ways To Get Through Tough Times

1. Keep things in perspective.

You are still here, alive and breathing. Your presence means there is possibility for your circumstances to change.

2. Have gratitude.

It can be challenging to have gratitude when you are in the midst of tough times. Being grateful for something or someone can offset or even outweigh the burden you may be experiencing.

3. Find community.  

Similar to having gratitude, finding community can be difficult. In trying times, it can be easy to self-isolate and direct all of your pain inward. Find a group of family and/or friends and be in a loving and supportive space. Share your pain and discomfort. Allowing yourself to "release" around loving people can offer some relief.

4.  Eat and Exercise

You must eat. Your body needs energy in order to sustain itself. Depriving yourself of the necessary fuel to get through your day can make your situation even more challenging. To add, exercising is a good way to stimulate your immune system and provide you with a boost, while decreasing any anxiety or "nervous" energy that you may have. Your physical health is just as important as your mental health. 

5. Do something you love. 

Play your favorite jazz record. Dance merengue, salsa or bachata. Prepare your favorite meal. Read. Write. Paint. Be out in nature. Walk your dog. Spend time with friends. Doing something you love can be a healthy distraction from those trying situations. 

Be resolved...

Be resolved in your purpose today. Walk with confidence. Speak with boldness. Be you. Do not allow yourself to be distracted by people who will try to frustrate you. Today is a new day. Yesterday is gone and you cannot change it. So, in this moment, give yourself some credit. You've come a long way!  

Don't run...

Don't run away from the discomfort. 

Don't run away from your fears. 

Don't run away from your responsibilities. 

Don't run away from yourself.

Don't run away from your strength. 

Don't run away from your beauty. 

Don't run away from your greatness. 

 

Begin today...

What better time than now, to begin? You do not have to wait for a better and more meaningful life. I encourage you to begin today. What does your heart desire? What fears or challenges hold you back? Are you looking for more fulfillment in your relationships? Are you seeking a promotion at your job or wanting to feel appreciated? You can begin right now to welcome those things into your life. You do not have to be restricted by the fear. The fear is a part of the process. You are much greater than your perceived fears. Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Take a few moments to sit, stand and/or lay in stillness. Close your eyes and imagine having the thing/s you desire. Is it a new career? Is it more finances? Is it more love? Is it healing or having peace in your life? Imagine having it. Now, smile. Tell yourself that you can have it. Give yourself permission to accept the things you desire.

2. Take a couple moments to write down the things you desire. Then tell yourself why you deserve it. 

3. Take a couple moments to write down your fears. Acknowledge the challenges. 

4. Look at your fears on paper. Laugh. Seriously. Look at the paper and laugh. Find the words amusing. Practice this exercise. The words on the paper are not fears. (Even if you do not fully understand, know that the fears are thoughts.)

5. Do something today that moves you closer toward the thing(s) you desire. Do you want a new house, call a real-estate agent, pull your credit report, start looking at houses. Do you want more loving relationships? Take yourself out to a movie or out to lunch. Want a raise at work? Draft a letter to your supervisor and have a trusted family member or friend review it with you. 

6. Practice each day and celebrate the small accomplishments along the way. 

Mediocrity is not an option

Let there be no mistake, being mediocre, doing mediocre work and living a mediocre life is indeed an option. In fact, most individuals choose mediocrity. That's is to say, they choose being average. But is that good enough? Given all of the talents, gifts and abilities that you possess, are you content with only being average? Do you count yourself among those who relegate themselves to the realm of the average? I am not suggesting that "being" average is a negative thing. I do wonder, that if we fail to maximize our talents, gifts and abilities, we do a disservice to ourselves, family and our communities. That somehow we are self-sabotaging ourselves. We play life safe. We have fear over the unknown. We allow the thoughts of others to affect us. We choose the safety of "fitting in" rather than challenging ourselves to pursue a more deeper and greater meaning in our lives. In my work as a counselor, coach, therapist, consultant, advisor, mentor and friend, I have heard the personal testimonies of individuals who wished that their lives had more "meaning". They have found themselves living day-to-day with no direction and purpose. They felt trapped. They lived a uninspired, mundane life.  

I am here to remind you that a better life is possible. A more fulfilling and robust life is possible. A life of meaning and purpose is possible. The days of living in mediocrity, experiencing mediocre relationships and getting mediocre results can be behind you. I challenge you to do something that frightens you. Engage yourself. Take that calculated risk and pursue that dream, despite the fear and trepidation. I am reminded of the courage, persistence and resiliency of my current and former clients. Sometimes they had to believe in my belief of them, before they could believe in themselves. I believe you don't have to be mediocre any longer. You are Great! Be Great! Live Great!

Quote of the day

"I'm not entangled in shaping my work according to other people's views of how I should have done it." ~Toni Morrison

 

S/N: Be authentically you. Do not allow the opinions of others detract or distract you from your mission. Go forward! 

Tuesday Quote of the day

“If you make human company too important you will not discover your true Self. Relationships not based in truth are never entirely reliable and are rarely enduring.
Taking time to discover yourself is the best use of time.
Prioritize this.
One should not excessively seek partners or friends, one should seek to know and be oneself. As you begin to awaken to the Truth, you start noticing how well life flows by itself and how well you are cared for. Life supports the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs of the one who is open to self-discovery. Trust opens your eyes to the recognition of this. Surrender allows you to merge in your own eternal being.” ~Mooji

Quote of the day

"I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection. 'Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but they whose heart is firm, and whose conscience approves their conduct, will pursue their principles unto deatth."! ~Leonardo Da Vinci